lightthedarkness | Empatheias Inbox

[ And he does look surprised. Despite coming from a galaxy where there's basically anything, he still hasn't really possessed anything. Not when he was a slave and especially as a Jedi. Vanity items such as a curiously shaped mug just weren't things Anakin had ever spent attention to. Everything in the Temple has always been simple, modest and functional.

He reaches for the item with his human hand and slowly turns it around, taking in the various details. It could as well be a piece of art. ]

You're right.

[ Anakin says after a moment. ]

It's perfect.

And it's yours now! Though now I have to find something else to start getting you since I've found the perfect mug.

Thank you.

[ He casts her a smile. ]

And thanks for coming. I've had very little to do ever since Obi-Wan brought me here. It's nice to see a friendly face again. Please, sit down. I'll make some tea.

[ He'll try, at least. ]

Well, I'm always there for my friends. [She smiled up at him.] And you're important to me, Anakin, you can always call me no matter what! I mean that, okay?

Tea sounds great. And, hey, maybe if we ask Obi-Wan, you and I could go down for an excursion, just you and me?

[ Anakin starts looking through the cabinets and setting out what he at least assumes he'd need to make tea from having observed his former master a few times. But overall the kitchen just isn't where he spends a lot of time - And it probably shows.

He halts in the middle of filling the pot with water at Usagi mentioning an excursion, and for a moment at least he frowns to himself, the events of Lavieti still clear in mind. ]

I... I'm not sure he'll agree to that.

[ He says, his eyes on the pot even as he turns off the water and puts its lid on it. Setting the pot on the stove, he turns on the heat, but no has few other options aside from turning and facing Usagi. He does so while leaning against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms with his frown lingering. ]

Usagi, I've threatened, attacked and hurt other beings during those few months here. That's why Obi-Wan insisted to put me under supervision. This planet does not affect me in good ways.

[She paused as she listened to Anakin and bit her lip. She wanted to reach out and gather him in a hug but she held off for now.]

Okay. So... let's figure out why. I mean, don't get me wrong, I understand. When I went to Piphron and Elios' land, I got affected a lot by the lingering emotions. But... I'm not scared of you, Anakin. I'm not scared of what you can do. What I think you need, though, is to find something that makes you happy.

Because I'm pretty sure you never have been while you've been here.

Happy.

[ He repeats the word, then considers it. The last time he's been actually happy has been on Coruscant, that's true. When he had a moment to spent with Padmé. all his happiness has always been tied to her.

But Padmé isn't here.

Anakin's expression turns grim. ]

You're not wrong, Usagi. But I don't really see there being anything here to make me... Happy.

[That did get her to stand up and go to him. She grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, not willing to send love over the touch, not just yet.]

You're going to have to find a way to make yourself happy then, and I'll help you. I'll be with you by your side. You have people who love you, Anakin, they want to see you happy too. I want to see you happy, because you deserve happiness, you deserve to be loved.

[ He lets her take his hand, even though his eyes linger on where she holds onto him and his head tilts slightly to the side. ]

You say I deserve happiness... Several others will claim the opposite. I'm not sure I deserve it myself.

Several people want me dead. I tend not to listen or follow that advice. [She smiled as she reached up and held his cheek.]

Everyone deserves happiness, especially those who seem to never have it.

[ And he's giving her a dumbfounded look. ]

Why would anyone want you dead?

Don't change the subject, we're focusing on your happiness, Anakin. I know how to be happy.

Your life is more important than me being happy, Usagi.

[ This is Jedi logic. ]

[She could tell that he was not going to let this go, stubborn, as he was. He might be the only one as stubborn as she could be, in fact... him or Obi-Wan. That said, he already knew about her... blinding light in the force and had seen her as Serenity. She sighed and leaned against the countertop.]

You once said I was rather blinding when it came to the Force, yeah? [She let out another sigh.] Well where I'm from... my galaxy, that is, I am the brightest thing in the Force... or well, it's not called the Force, but that isn't the point. And the thing is, because of my... abilities... that come with the brightness, there are... a lot who think I get in the way since I do what I can with my powers to help people. Since I have no intention of stopping and will keep getting in their way to stop them, they want to see me dead in hopes of gaining that power. I've become sorta... known for my powers in the galaxy, but I can't exactly stop now.

Edited 2017-03-28 21:46 (UTC)

[ It's true. Anakin can be about as stubborn as he dislikes to focus on his own issues.

He listens to her words - And he feels that he can understand what she's talking about. Just that in his case, the Sith do not aim to kill him. Sidious still wants his power... ]

And you shouldn't stop.

[ Anakin agrees, his brows pulled into a scowl as he has to accept that none of this actually happens in Verens. So there is nothing he can do about the matter. ]

Helping others is important, but also always stay mindful of your own safety.

[ Yes, he likes giving advise that he doesn't follow himself. ]

[No one has tried to corrupt Usagi, mostly because they don't realize she's the only one able to use her power. She smiled.]

I'm not about to stop. And hey, maybe if we go on an excursion to the surface, you might even see them. [He already saw her most powerful form, not that he knew that.]

Ah, my own safety is... well yes, it is important, but the safety of my planet and my loved ones is most important of all. And I have the means to protect them. I'm willing to die for that. [And she has. She pressed her hands to her chest.] I don't really care about my safety so long as I can protect my people. I know you're the same. [She gathered warmth in her hand and pressed her it to Anakin's chest.] I know, Anakin, that you also would give up your life to protect others. I also know, that you want to protect those you love.

[If she could just get him to focus again on why he deserved happiness.] I think... it isn't just our safety we need to be mindful of, but our health too. And part of being healthy, part of being able to help others and protect those we care for above all else, is being happy too. Even if the ones who make us happiest aren't here.

[ Anakin listens to her in silence. Her words aren't entirely untrue, but he holds onto his doubts. Her warmth doesn't go unnoticed, but it feels... Wrong.

He closes his eyes, then takes a deep breath. ]

I... Would like to go with you.

[ To the surface, that is. And he opens his eyes again to look at her. ]

But, Usagi. Do you remember how we first met here? In Verens?

You wanted to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi and you needed to speak to your Master. [So yes, she remembers.]

You were practically emitting a dark cloud of hate and anger. But you aren't that way now.

No, maybe I'm not, but that was the path I have been on when I arrived in Verens. It was not just Obi-Wan I wanted to kill, though. My order was to destroy every single Jedi back in the Jedi Temple.

[ He pauses for a brief moment, then goes on. ]

At that time there are mostly younglings back in the Temple. Just before I ended up in this city, I was about to murder dozes of children, Usagi. And I have learned of my future here. I learned that I will succeed and purge the Temple, kill my own wife, then hunt down the rest of the Jedi. Then hunt down everyone opposing my Master. I will terrorize the galaxy, slaughter entire civilizations and even destroy the planet my own daughter will consider her home.

I've seen what I'll become, Usagi. And there's nothing about that that deserves to be happy. Not if I cannot change who I am back home.

Anakin... [She frowned. She listened and she could only think of Galaxia, of how she destroyed planet after planet seeking love, seeking something she couldn't have named. In her inability to name it, she thought it to be power.]

You're right, the actions you will do, killing innocent children, your own wife, and the rest of the Jedi... there's nothing about that that should make you deserve happiness. And you'll be very good at punishing yourself, by the sounds of it. You'll continue down the path of darkness and cut yourself off from all your loved ones and friends. You will make sure no on will love you. You will be feared, you will be hated, even by your own daughter. You will do terrible things, people will want you dead and probably attempt it many times and you will take your revenge on them for their actions. You will be chained to the very master you asked for when we first met because no one else in your galaxy is going to even dare reach out to you in case you ever regret, if you can ever regret by then.

But [She held his chin, her eyes locking on his.] you Anakin Skywalker are not that man yet. And even when or if you do become that man, Anakin, even if there is no stopping it, well, that you fear it now means there's still hope. Maybe... maybe not at first, but someday, someone just has to be willing to reach out for you.

Anakin... you have told me all about what you do... but you won't tell me why. That's just as important as anything else.

I told you, I'm not scared of you. I'm not going to turn my back on you. You are my friend and I love you.

Edited 2017-03-31 05:39 (UTC)

[ If Anakin can appreciate one thing especially, it's that Usagi isn't trying to play any of what he's told her down or excuse any of his crimes. ]

Why...

[ He repeats her question, then closes his eyes. ]

I... Wanted to- Want to save Padmé. And our children... I've been having these nightmares. Visions of the future - I've been having those before. And... I went to Master Yoda for advise, but he only told me to let go.

[ Which really would have been the Jedi thing to do, but... Well. ]

From the Chancellor I learned, that I could possibly help her, but only if I used the power of the Dark Side. So when the Jedi came to kill him I- I had to make a quick decision. It all made sense back then, but--

[ Anakin shakes his head, then looks away. ]

...I shouldn't have done that. I... I should have seen the lie. Three Jedi Masters where already dead on the floor and Master Windu barely held him down. Palpatine- He wanted me to help him kill Master Windu and I was just being blind.

[ Blinded by his own need to save a loved one. He looks back down at Usagi, a faint gloom settling about him all over again. ]

Verens - this city... I came here as Darth Vader, but I've been given so much time to think about what had happened back in the Chancellor's office. I made so many mistakes, Usagi. I don't even know why you still talk to me.

I told you, I'm your friend and I love you. [She answered rather easily regarding his last statement.]

I know a thing or two about having nightmares of the future and seeing your loved ones dead. [She smiled a bit sadly.
She took a deep breath.] I don't... know if there's any stopping this, Anakin. I wish I did, I truly wish that I could make all the talks we've had and the truths you've experienced be in your mind when everything is happening after this.

But by the sounds of it, there is a very dark path you will be going down for some time when you go home and you will go it alone.

[She reached up and pushed back some of his hair from his face.] But you came here as Darth Vader, that doesn't mean you stayed that way. It's going to be the same when you return home. No matter the mistakes you made, you can learn from them, Anakin. That you can see them now just means that you have the chance to give yourself some long overdue happiness here.

You will need to make up for those mistakes, and no matter how much you apologize, for some, that may never be enough for those you hurt. But where as Darth Vader may not accept that, Anakin Skywalker, the man in front of me, the Jedi you want to be, can.

You've made so many mistakes, okay. Then we'll fix them. Because so long as you're here with me and Obi-Wan and others who love and care for you, you don't have to do this alone.

And while you may have turned to the Dark Side back home, you did it because you loved someone. You loved Padme and you loved children you hadn't even met yet. You didn't turn to the dark side to conquer and rule. I think that says a lot about you, more than you know.

Edited 2017-04-02 10:28 (UTC)

[ There isn't much Anakin can say at this point, but he listens. He still hopes that he will somehow be able to influence his own future when he returns. It's that hope that he needs to not lose himself entirely to despair.

He doesn't pull back when she reaches out, but he gives a very slow nod. Because what she says is true. He's not alone here, at least. He hadn't exactly been alone back in his own galaxy either, but he hadn't been able to see it. Had failed to trust his closest friend and instead raised to the lure of a Sith Lord. ]

Thank you.

[ He nearly mutters those words, but his gratitude is genuine. ]

Thank you for listening and... Everything.

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