Empatheias Inbox

[lightthedarkness]

Inbox messages or private communications for Usagi Tsukino.


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March 14th

[hadthehighground]

[After hearing about this and actually going to the site to help, Obi-Wan decides to contact his friend. His gentle and calming presence reaching out through the amulets.]

Hello, Usagi. Might I have a word with you?

[lightthedarkness]

[Not that she would, but when she became queen it was very tempting to ban the phrases "might I have a word with you" and "we need to talk." Nothing, literally nothing good followed those phrases. It was never "hey Usagi, we need to talk... about all the cake you get to eat!" or "Usagi, might I have a word about how GREAT your grades have gotten?" No. No, it was always "Usagi, we need to talk about you being late all the time," or "Usagi, might have a word with you about how messy your room is?"

Literally, nothing ever good ever came following those phrases, and if she could, she would ban them. Obi-Wan was likely not to be any sort of exception.

Let someone come up with a new way to relay bad news.

She swallowed.]

Uuh, yeah, sure. Of course.

[hadthehighground]

[If it’s any comfort to Usagi, Obi-Wan isn’t angry. He rarely is honestly. But rather there’s concern leaking through the connection. He can practically feel her unease as well.]

I’m assuming you saw Princess Minnie’s call for help to restore the forest after a certain accident.

[And there’s a pause there before he continues.]

She was not the one who caused it, was she.

[It was a statement instead of a question, meaning he already knew the answer.]

[lightthedarkness]

I did, yeah.

[She sighed, somehow not at all surprised that Obi-Wan found out the truth, either by some Jedi mind trick or the force she wasn't sure but she wasn't at all surprised.]

Um no... no she wasn't the one who caused it. [No point in LYING any further, now is there?] She um... she's covering up for me... though I'll be honest, I didn't think that's how'd she do it.

[hadthehighground]

[There was a long pause for a moment. His voice soft and careful as he spoke again.]

Are you all right, Usagi? Do you need to talk about it?

[He had a feeling she probably didn't, but the offer was there regardless. He wasn't upset about the whole thing, just very concerned.]

[lightthedarkness]

I just... [She inhales sharply. Well, he wasn't Sosyne's representative for nothing, right?]

I just wanted to make something hurt as much as I did, if only for a moment... and... And I was... I couldn't... [Her breath hitches.]

I wanted to stop the pain... and look at what I did. I can't even bring myself to heal it.

[hadthehighground]

[A dark moment. Even those with the most light could have them from time to time. Even Obi-Wan has had them.]

What happened?

[What could possibly bring her so much pain to cause her to lash out in such a manner?]

[lightthedarkness]

Luna... someone I depended on a lot growing up and who has been through... everything with me, got sent home.

And...I dunno... it just... maybe it was all piling up and she was just the breaking point or maybe it's cause losing Luna always just... makes me snap. But I finally got to be with her again and then...

[hadthehighground]

Luna... that was your cat friend, wasn't it?

[He saw mention of her briefly, but had never actually met the talking feline. But it all made sense now.]

I'm so sorry, Usagi.

Is it all right if I come visit?

[lightthedarkness]

Mnn. [The sound is small, mostly because she's crying again, not that she meant to but she is.]

If... ah- yeah... I would like that.

[hadthehighground]

All right. I will come find you.

[If he focuses on the Force enough he can pinpoint her location. Not too difficult since she stands out in the Force quite a bit. So he doesn't need to really ask where she is. Though she can still volunteer it. Either way, Obi-Wan will be there as quickly as he can.]

[lightthedarkness]

I'm at home, at the moment.

[She's easy enough to find, honestly, since she's at home and has been at home more since the incident. When he does it make it to her house, large and mostly empty now, he'll find that the door takes a moment to answer after he knocks, but the door does open and Usagi is there, pale and dim in the doorway.]

[hadthehighground]

[He’s back in his Jedi robes when he comes knocking. Sorry Usagi he still wears those most of the time. To go with it he has his usual calm aura. Though when she opens the door, it’s mixed with compassion.

She looks terrible.

That only compels him further in holding out his arms to her, offering the poor girl a hug if she chooses to accept.]

[lightthedarkness]

[Hugs are always welcomed. If she ever denies herself a hug then things are REALLY bad since it's rare for her to not want hugs. So hugs are more than welcomed, especially from Obi-Wan who exudes calm and warmth which is also just as welcomed right now.]

I'm sorry.

[hadthehighground]

[His arms going around the girl in a warm brace, Obi-Wan held her close in a comforting manner. Usagi was not only a good friend, but was somewhat like the daughter he would never have. Seeing her in so much pain was difficult, especially considering her selfless and typically bubbly nature.]

I know. But what’s done is done, and the land will heal in time. We planted some new trees and shrubs.

[lightthedarkness]

Did... anyone else figure it out? [She was more than willing to own up to what she did, but now that a lie has been used to cover it up...]

[hadthehighground]

Not that I’m aware of.

[He hadn’t told a soul, not even Anakin, and he hadn’t heard anyone else mentioning Usagi in regards to it. Minnie was quite evasive and intent on keeping up the facade. Whether Usagi wanted to tell the truth or not was completely up to her.]

[lightthedarkness]

[The tension in her shoulders eases a bit and she takes a deep breath. Small favors.]

I don't... really know what to do. I know... I can't let something like that happen again, Obi-Wan.

[hadthehighground]

[There was a small pause of silence from Obi-Wan as he listened and considered. Pulling back a bit, the Jedi then bent down in front of the young girl and took her hands in his. His blue eyes seeking hers.]

When one has great power, with it comes the responsibility of keeping it in control. The Jedi knew this, and I’m certain you do as well. You are at a point in your life where emotions run high, and are more difficult to keep in check.

[A wistful smile pulled at his lips. He remembered what it was like to be her age.]

It will get easier with time, I promise you. But you’re right in that this shouldn’t happen again.

If you are willing, I can teach you some of the disciplinary ways of my people. By learning to meditate and exercise calm properly, I believe you can find inner peace.

[lightthedarkness]

[She pressed her lips together and wondered if she should actually try Obi-Wan's methods... Her fingers curled into the material of his robes and she closed her eyes in thought.]

It's not... that I'm not willing. [She breathed out, trying to find the right words to say, trying to figure out how best to explain.] I... just worry... I can't- mnn... I don't know if I can shut myself off the way... it sounds like Jedi are supposed to. [But then again, she has a very mixed view of how Jedi work from what she can gather from Anakin and Obi-Wan and everyone else.] I don't think I can ever be... I dunno as... [Not unattached, not dispassionate... she didn't know what word she wanted.] I dunno if I can achieve that same amount of calm.

[hadthehighground]

[It was easy to see the doubt and uneasiness in Usagi at his suggestion. But instead of being disappointed or sad or frustrated, the man just smiled in understanding.]

There are many misconceptions about the Jedi my dear, and I certainly would never mean to turn you into one.

[The Jedi were a sacred order that one had to devote a lifetime of commitment to. Not something to be taken lightly, and not what he was offering her.]

I don’t know what Anakin has told you, but I can assure you that while he has certain opinions, he hasn’t completely abandoned our ways either. A Jedi doesn’t cut himself off from what makes us living and feeling beings. We merely learn to let go of that which is harmful to us and the world at large. I certainly could not have the relationship I do with him if I did. Which, I will admit is against our code, but in this world things are different.

What I’m getting at, is that I can teach you to learn to let go of your feelings when you need to. To gain a better control of yourself by understanding yourself. The only way to keep an outburst of that nature from happening again is by releasing it in a way that doesn’t result in destruction. Attachments or not aside, that is what the Jedi do.

[lightthedarkness]

[She let out the sigh of relief she didn't even know she was holding. She didn't think he was offering she become a Jedi (in fact, she's not even sure she could, weird worlds or not), but he wasn't asking her to try and take up their sense of ethics either. She gave a small nod. Maybe she could do this. She had to do this because she can't let something like that happen again. And wouldn't Rei be proud (if absolutely amazed) by her?

Being calm would be good, she could use being calmer in her life, or at least know how to achieve it better. She gave a small nod.
And wasn't Neo-Queen Serenity a calm and well... serene? Chibiusa always made her sound perfect and even Neo-King Endymion had regarded Serenity as this epitome of a ruler. She was turning 20, right? So obviously something somewhere in the middle had to change. Maybe this was it and she didn't know it.]

Alright... then... yes... I mean, it can't hurt to at least try.

[hadthehighground]

[Jedi ethics were definitely a complicated matter that not even all Jedi agreed on. They had different schools of thought much like with anything else. But no, he wasn’t going to turn her into a monk. But there were things the Jedi taught that could be applied to life outside of the order. Besides, Obi-Wan has found that being a perfect Jedi in this world was practically impossible. Especially if one was to exercise the spirit of the Jedi ways in helping this ailing planet. He had to seek a new balance within himself in this place.

His smile then softened when she decided to give it a try, and he had to chuckle at that.]

One of my old masters used to say, do or do not, there is no try.

[While Obi-Wan said this in jest, the words of Yoda did hold a certain wisdom.]

We can start now if you like.

[lightthedarkness]

Um... [Did she really feel like starting? Well no, she didn't feel like doing much of anything, which tended to mean she should.]

Kay... uh, do I need to bring anything or do anything? I'm not going to have to stand naked under a waterfall to cleanse my body, am I? [Cause she knows Rei sometimes had to do that and she very much rather not.]

[hadthehighground]

[Sensing her feelings, Obi-Wan also knew that sometimes one has to do what they don’t want in order to make progress. Though he laughed lightly at Usagi’s question.]

No, nothing of the sort. Most Jedi are very modest, myself included.

We only need a quiet place to sit. Preferably where you are most at ease.