Deer Country IC Inbox

[lightthedarkness]

INBOX Text / Voice / Video / Action "Hi! This is Usagi Tsukino, sorry, I can't answer right now but if you leave a message I'll get back to you quick as a bunny! Have a nice day!" code credit

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CW: Kidnapping, stalking, and sexual assault

[lightthedarkness]

[She takes a deep breath and bites her lip, bringing her hands up to her chest, holding them, clenching them, and unclenching them. Where did she even begin? Did she explain time travel was a thing? Did she try to explain her daughter coming from the future into the past?

No... no, she knew where to start.

She just... didn't want to talk about it. She never wants to talk about it. She paced for a moment around the kitchen, breathing and letting it go, trying to organize her thoughts, the ones that were important.]

When I was 14 or 15, just after facing one enemy, another came. There was this prince from another planet... Prince Diamond. His family was trying to steal my crystal, to prevent me from ever eventually ruling Earth.

But he wanted... something more, something else too.

[She took a deep breath.]

He wanted me.

He had these powers... he could paralyze your body among other things, and in the middle of a battle, he did just that.

He kidnapped me and took me back to his planet. I had been... knocked out. When I awoke, I was de-transformed from being Sailor Moon, I woke up in a gown similar to Serenity's because that's what he wanted to see me in... He...

He-

[She took a deep breath, not even sure when she had to grab onto the kitchen island counter, but if she were Sailor Moon right now, she was pretty sure she'd have cracked it with how tightly she was gripping it.]

He was going to keep me there, he laughed when I slapped him after forcibly kissing me.

His palace was a labyrinth, I could only get so far in it before I would faint and collapse from exhaustion, from the planet draining me of my energy. Every time... Every time, I would wake back up in his bed, where a hologram of myself as Serenity could be seen directly from it.

He intended his palace to be my grave and for me to be at his feet...

[She clenched her eyes shut, her whole body tense.]

I eventually escaped his planet with Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter.

I also eventually killed him.

[There was a lot that happened in those "eventually"s she's not telling Maul, but she let out a breath and tension left her shoulders as she lifted her head, looking back over to Maul.]

And he is lucky he is not here, because I cannot promise that I wouldn't try to kill him again, and again, and again without so much as a breath of hesitation until the universe gives up on reviving him. [Her voice was cold, her hands trembling before she turned her gaze from Maul and bowed her head.]

So there, now you know.

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul listens to what Usagi went through and a great fury rises in him at the thought of anyone treating his friend like that. To treat her like an object, a prize he had won, someone whose wants and needs didn't matter one bit. Then it occurs to him how he treated her when he was split up into his different selves, the cruelty with which he'd shown her when they were fighting. How was he much better than Diamond in what he'd done.

It also drives home to him again that while Usagi is a good person, she's not soft by any means. She had killed this prince for doing what he did to her and would do so again without hesitation.

He can't even bring himself to try and meet her eyes.]

I am sorry.....I am so sorry there's a part of me that could ever remind you of him.

[More than any other apology Maul has given during his time here, this one might be the most sincere. He feels very small and utterly ashamed of himself. How could he have treated someone who loved him whole heartedly like that?]

I have done terrible things to you, someone I should treat better than anyone else, and yet you still stand by me.....why?

[He still doesn't understand how Usagi can forgive him time and again for his horrendous actions, to still see the good within him when he can't even see it himself.]

[lightthedarkness]

[She looks over to him, the way he can't meet her gaze and she makes a soft noise, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, approving or otherwise. Just a noise, acknowledging she heard him.

She moved over to the kitchen window, looking outside.

She's already said he was right about how much he's hurt her, she doesn't need to say it again.]

You know, you're voicing a question plenty of people have wanted to ask me, I imagine. [She rested her hands on the rim of the sink. She looked back over towards him.]

There is good in you, Maul. [It is said simply, but so resolutely that arguing with her would be pointless.]

It is small, frail, fluttering, and trampled on time and again but it is there.

[She finally turned completely towards him, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the sink. She moved one hand to hold it out and gestured to all of him.]

Many don't believe me when I say it is there. And after all of this, I may be one of the few left in this place who believes you have even a sliver of it. [She leaned forward.] Not even you believe it is there, which has been the problem this whole time, I suppose.

But I have seen what happens when what little good there is in someone is left in the dark, alone. I have seen what happens to the hearts of those whose good is snuffed out completely.

And I have killed those people, Maul, time and again.

I do not want that to happen to you, because I love you.

['And I've no desire to kill you,' was left hanging in the air, unsaid.]

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul listens as Usagi explains just what she can see in him that no one else can. Something small inside of him leaps at the words, agrees with them very strongly, but he pushes it back down with long practice.

While he doesn't believe he is entirely evil, not the way his master is, he thinks that part of him that is good is so withered and broken that it will never grow again. All he's good for is causing death, to create chaos wherever he goes, and never to help anyone.

But he knows Usagi doesn't think that. If she did, she would have killed him over and over again by now, reducing him to a squid each time he reformed on the beach before he could do so much as take a few steps.

Yet she hadn't done that.

She sees the good in him, and if he can't have faith in himself, at least he can believe in what Usagi believes in him.

He's heard all that he needs to for the moment. Before he turns to leave, he speaks to his friend.]

I love you too. And.....I'll try to see for myself what you can see inside of me. To be worthy of your belief in me.

[lightthedarkness]

[Usagi is actually DEEPLY familiar with the strategy Maul is using, mostly because the girls used to have the same one and she still has that strategy. She cannot always see the good in herself, the greatness her friends claim she has, but she believes in their greatness, and if they believe in her, then she would believe in herself too. Her friends weren't idiots, after all.

She nods, knowing he can't promise her anything, not after what just happened.

So she will take what he has offered.]

I look forward to the day when you see the good I see. And I will look forward to when others can see it too.

[Because her gaze is... so infinitely vast, as much as it is immediate. She did not destroy the Cauldron because centuries, maybe millennia or even millions or billions of years later, a new one would be made and life would start anew and with it, war and chaos, peace and order, despair and hope. She knew this to be true.

She knew, too, that Maul had good in him. He would never be a shining light, but he would not have to be shrouded in darkness.]

But [She took a breath.

Well, Maul always said it was okay that she be selfish sometimes.] I cannot be there for this next part. These next few steps you must take by yourself. You will not be alone, and I will never truly leave you, but I think... you've been relying too much on me to catch you or correct you when you misstep, and I've let you.

I know you can do it.

I have always known you could do it.

Now you just need to know it too.