Deerington IC Inbox

[lightthedarkness]

INBOX Text / Voice / Video / Action "Hi! This is Usagi Tsukino, sorry, I can't answer right now but if you leave a message I'll get back to you quick as a bunny! Have a nice day!" code credit

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[droptheious]

I do, and I guess that isn't so bad.

[There are worst bets to lose- he still kind of came out a winner. He turns the jar in his hands as she speaks, smiling faintly. He's been so desperately worried about her and to know he did something... anything to help her means a lot. ]

Yeah... well. You're always there for me whenever I need you, so it was about time I returned the favour. [He puts the jar down, mostly so he could awkwardly shuffle over to give her a hug. ] You know I'm always here for you if you need me, right? You're family, I'd do just about anything for you.

[lightthedarkness]

[Was she? Where had she been when he lost a leg? When he, Glitch, Ruby, and Fern got stuck in the caves? Where was she when Maul killed him? For all his insistence that she was always there, she merely felt like she always failed him. As he hugged her, she hugged him back, she gazed down at where his leg was missing. She strokes his hair and keeps their position so he can't see her face. She takes a deep breath and puts on a smile.]

You are family, and I will always be there for you, as best I can. Cause I love you. All I need for you to do for me, Varian, is to live your life and let it fill you with love and happiness.

That's what I want most for you.

[droptheious]

[It was a very good thing that Varian couldn't see her expression before she fixed it into a smile, and it was an extremely good thing that he didn't know those thoughts running around in her head. He'd argue that she was exactly where he needed her when he needed her- that he wasn't looking for some big damn hero to save him from getting hurt or killed. That she was a much-needed emotional rock for him, that he wouldn't have actually survived the fallout of any of those events if she hadn't been there.

But he doesn't know what's going on in her head, and so when she smiles, he buys it, he returns the smile. ]

Hah. Well, I'll sure try at least? [The fact he's willing to try is at least some step in the right direction. ]

[lightthedarkness]

[Well, being a mind reader would require him to be willing to use MAGIC, so that won't happen any time soon.

She didn't always have such a mindset, about being some "big damn hero." She had been perfectly content living the life she had had. No one had asked her to give up being a young teenager and fight monsters or else the entire world would be in danger. She just got TOLD she was going to do it. Risk your life, Usagi, you have powers, you HAVE to, find the princess so everyone can be saved, oh, turns out you are the princess.

And then it just built and built and built the more and more she was hunted down by enemies who wanted her powers, the more and more she realized she would never get to go back to being a normal girl. And that was... fine. She had made her peace with that, embraced it, even. But embracing that came hand in hand with her having take up the role of fighting for everyone, everything, all the time, to give up everything for everyone.

Because that was her greatest power, to give all of herself, even her life, so that everyone else would be saved.

And then Deerington came along.

And it mocked her, laughed in her face. She couldn't save everyone, she couldn't save... anyone. She had her powers but no amount of sacrifice, no great act would do anything for anyone.

But for so many years that had been her life.

How was she supposed to just turn that off? Why did everyone think it was just some easy task after YEARS of finally accepting she would ALWAYS be hunted down because of her powers, because of her planet, because of who she loved and who loved her back to just suddenly be a normal teen again?

So she shoves it down and away.

It would be JUST her luck she would finally accept that she DOESN'T have to be the one to save everyone or anything only for the SOMETHING to turn around and demand it of her again. Because the universe didn't give a shit if you were tired, if you had decided you were doing something. If the universe said "you're this now" how did you argue? It doesn't go away, it doesn't fix anything. It just is and there's no time or place to be dealing with something as trivial as her feelings when the world is literally falling apart.

She would handle the world falling apart, likely be useless in that too, and then she'd just... well, she didn't know. Thinking about the future of this god awful dream meant she would either die or wake up.

And Deerington wouldn't need her anymore now then it ever has and she would be as useless as when she arrived.]

That's all I ask. [She smiled at Varian.] You usually succeed when you try, I'm not worried.

[droptheious]

[Not until he gets sucked into Trench and has magic forced upon him, anyway.

It truly is sad Rapunzel never stayed long enough for Usagi to get really close. He's pretty sure she and Usagi could talk for hours on the weight of the world and trying to carry it. ]

Hah, usually being the key word there. But thanks. Guess all both of us can do is try, huh?

[lightthedarkness]

I mean, you're a literal genius, Varian. Usually is like, 95% successful for you.

Now, let's get to bed, yeah?