[She switches this to private, even though it's her mailbox but honestly, she rather not have this out for everyone to see. This part of her life is not something she likes to talk about or have known.]
Do? Nothing except yell and scream some pretty sexist nonsense. But he... [She sighs.] He triggered an old... feeling, an old memory. He was sleep-deprived and starving, and Maul had asked me to see to it Savage didn't, ya know, do exactly that and I said yes. A sleep-deprived Savage isn't exactly in a listening mood. So I had to knock him out to get him to go to bed and then had to proceed at yelling him over and over to eat. Well, in all the yelling, he accused me of having a whole agenda for Maul, that I MUST have some big, ulterior reason for doing anything I do for Maul, that I must beat him up to get my way. He then... essentially blamed me for Maul being the way he is now, that Maul isn't the bloodthirsty mastermind he remembered and it was all my fault.
That's not really the big deal part, but, certain things he said, certain ways he said it, was the same way Prince Saphir blamed me for his brother, Prince Demande's actions against me. That is was my fault his brother's personality had changed, that anyone suffered, really. If I didn't exist, his brother wouldn't have been so obsessed with me and I was better off dead... which he then tried to do by pinning me down with, well, I guess robots and trying to kill me with a crystal spike to my chest.
[She scowled.] It's not that I believe any of that and I fought back.
But it's just... AGAIN another younger brother is blaming me and saying it's my fault for his brother not being the way he used to remember anymore.
Considering his ideal is just that I DON'T exist, you can see how that would be a problem in views. Savage triggered that, is all.
He didn't hurt me, he didn't touch me, or say I should be dead. He just... brought up the memories and I'm sort of super sick of being blamed for someone else's changes...
And the irony is not lost on me, Varian.
[Considering what they're LITERALLY arguing about.
She takes a deep breath.]
I... it's not that Maul doesn't learn, it's just that his steps are agonizingly slow. Believe me, he IS learning. But I understand if you don't want to talk to him anymore, and I'm not going to sit here and tell you your feelings toward Maul are wrong. He HAS wronged you, you and Fern and so many others. [And her, but stars know she never really holds a grudge except in a few instances.]
But... Varian, I've seen what people like Maul are like if they are just... left in the dark. They don't go "oh no, my actions have caused everyone around me to pull away," which again, you have every right to do. People like Maul... and Savage, for that matter, will just see people pulling away and go "if no one will be there when this is done, then what's even the point of trying?"
I don't ask that you give him another chance, you have every right not to and I will do what I can not to really bring him up around either of you.
But I can't abandon him, he IS my friend, and I know first hand what becomes of those who are left in the dark.
And... no... no, I don't think I would believe you, so... I guess I'll see you soon.
Video; Private CW: Mentions of sexual assault, sexism, attempted murder, toxic family relationships
Do? Nothing except yell and scream some pretty sexist nonsense. But he... [She sighs.] He triggered an old... feeling, an old memory. He was sleep-deprived and starving, and Maul had asked me to see to it Savage didn't, ya know, do exactly that and I said yes. A sleep-deprived Savage isn't exactly in a listening mood. So I had to knock him out to get him to go to bed and then had to proceed at yelling him over and over to eat. Well, in all the yelling, he accused me of having a whole agenda for Maul, that I MUST have some big, ulterior reason for doing anything I do for Maul, that I must beat him up to get my way. He then... essentially blamed me for Maul being the way he is now, that Maul isn't the bloodthirsty mastermind he remembered and it was all my fault.
That's not really the big deal part, but, certain things he said, certain ways he said it, was the same way Prince Saphir blamed me for his brother, Prince Demande's actions against me. That is was my fault his brother's personality had changed, that anyone suffered, really. If I didn't exist, his brother wouldn't have been so obsessed with me and I was better off dead... which he then tried to do by pinning me down with, well, I guess robots and trying to kill me with a crystal spike to my chest.
[She scowled.] It's not that I believe any of that and I fought back.
But it's just... AGAIN another younger brother is blaming me and saying it's my fault for his brother not being the way he used to remember anymore.
Considering his ideal is just that I DON'T exist, you can see how that would be a problem in views. Savage triggered that, is all.
He didn't hurt me, he didn't touch me, or say I should be dead. He just... brought up the memories and I'm sort of super sick of being blamed for someone else's changes...
And the irony is not lost on me, Varian.
[Considering what they're LITERALLY arguing about.
She takes a deep breath.]
I... it's not that Maul doesn't learn, it's just that his steps are agonizingly slow. Believe me, he IS learning. But I understand if you don't want to talk to him anymore, and I'm not going to sit here and tell you your feelings toward Maul are wrong. He HAS wronged you, you and Fern and so many others. [And her, but stars know she never really holds a grudge except in a few instances.]
But... Varian, I've seen what people like Maul are like if they are just... left in the dark. They don't go "oh no, my actions have caused everyone around me to pull away," which again, you have every right to do. People like Maul... and Savage, for that matter, will just see people pulling away and go "if no one will be there when this is done, then what's even the point of trying?"
I don't ask that you give him another chance, you have every right not to and I will do what I can not to really bring him up around either of you.
But I can't abandon him, he IS my friend, and I know first hand what becomes of those who are left in the dark.
And... no... no, I don't think I would believe you, so... I guess I'll see you soon.